Shinji Vs. The Uber Mary Sue
by ShinRyuKen
Summary: Shinji finally gets vengeance on all those accursed Mary Sue's. Rated R for gore and language. Added a rant after Chapter 3... I felt like ranting.
1. Let the blood bath begin!

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva. Nor do I own any of the said Mary  
Sue's in this fic, except for the few I made up, due to the  
lack of actual ones for me to kill. :) I wish I owned Eva, but I  
don't. Don't sue me. This fic isn't for the faint of heart, I  
have a penchant to get very violent when angry, and nothing angers  
me like a Mary Sue... well, not much does anyway.  
  
Shinji Vs. The Uber Mary Sue - First Edition.  
  
Writen by ShinRyuKen  
  
  
Deep within Central Dogma, there exists a place few know about.  
In this place, exist the remains and rejects of creatures even  
more monsterous and horrid than the Evangelions. They were created  
purely to satisfy man's sick little fantasies, at the expense of  
other's reading pleasure. They are the Mary Sue's...  
  
Shinji Ikari. The Third Child. Usually the key victim of these  
sick, twisted, almost godlike humanoids. Sometimes they take his   
place, because of how increadibly great the are, other times they   
kill him, or even make it so he had never existed. Shinji Ikari  
had had enough, he was going to put an end to these monstrosities  
once and for all, even if it meant a martyr... his father ofcourse.  
Shinji let everyone in Tokyo 3 know, he was going to destroy the  
evil, known as Mary Sue once and for all!  
  
Asuka Langly Sohryu. The Second Child. Also is one of the key  
victims when it comes to Mary Sue's. With their much feared  
Aura of Smooth, they somehow manage to turn this great Eva  
pilot into a lovesick heap, who wants nothing more than to  
get some from said Mary Sue. The second she heard the news,   
she signed up - after yelling at Baka Shinji for not telling   
her first, naturally - Asuka put on her battlegear, loaded   
her arsenal, and made sure her Evangelion was nice and sparkly.   
Revenge would finally be hers!  
  
and Rei Ayanami. The First Child. Much like Asuka, Rei is usually  
a key victim in this Mary Sue's twisted persuit to get laid  
by every single female member of the Eva cast. They would  
seduce her, and should would somehow gain emotions out of no  
where - how that one works she is still trying to figure out  
- so Ayanami signed up aswell, knowing the world will be a  
better place without these horrible creatures. Plus, she  
secretly wanted revenge - ofcourse, she didn't tell anyone  
else that - She was more than just some doll that you  
could screw and then leave, and god dammit, there was going  
to be serious HELL to pay!  
  
  
Later that evening, the entire population of Tokyo 3 was   
seated in the newly built stadium inside the Geofront, complete  
with its own hotdog stand and fully licensed bar! Major Misato   
Katsuragi had front row seats and was cheering like there was   
no tommorow - "GO SHINJI! YOU KICK 'SHUM MARY SHOE BUTT!" - as   
usual, she was drunk. Beside her sat Ritsuko, who had recently  
shaved all her hair off. Why? God knows, it's Ritsuko, since  
when does she need a reason to do anything? Up afew more rows  
sat the great Touji Suzuhara, Class Rep Hikari Horaki, and  
the obsessive otaku, Kensuke Aida. Oh, and Penpen, who was  
seated on Hikari's lap.  
  
"Hey class rep, is still don't see why my and Penpen can't swap   
seats." Touji said with a sly grin.  
  
"Hentai." Hikari muttered, turning her head to hide her reddened cheeks.  
  
Up above the arena, hidden by one way glass, sat Gendo Ikari, the  
heartless, cold, manipulative bastard. What's that? I'm going too  
easy on him? Pffft, fine. The heartless, cold, retarded, evil,  
manipulative son of a fucking bitch. Better? Good. Personally I  
don't mind Gendo but - OWWW! - piss off dammit! Jesus... Standing  
behind Gendo was Kozou Fuyutsuki, someone who can actually pass  
himself off as a decent human being. Most of the time.  
  
Inside the ring Shinji, Asuka and Rei were setting up all the  
Mary Sue's and equipment with the help of Maya, Hyuga and Shigeru.  
It looked like it was going to be one messy night too, there were  
rows of firearms, knives, fireworks and other small but nasty  
explosive devices. There were also many other secrets build into  
the stadium, but you'll find out about those later. Just as they  
finished setting everything up, Asuka grabbed the microphone off  
Shinji and run to the center of the ring.  
  
"Hi everybody!" Asuka said to the audience, "I'd like to thank  
you all for coming, we really appreciate it. Yes, even wondergirl  
does!"  
  
Asuka grinned before tossing the mic to Shinji, who was dressed  
in jeans and a red T-shirt, and was begining to sweat from all  
the hard work. He got up and looked around. He began to sweat  
bullets when he saw how many people turned up.  
  
"Uh... Hi everybody." He almost fell over when he heard the  
screams of adoration and love coming from the audience.  
  
He grinned with renewed confidence, "Who wants to see us kick  
some Mary Sue ass?!"  
  
The crowd roared with approval and Shinji laughed. This was  
going to be fun by the look of it. As Rei looked around at  
the crowd, then watched as Maya and co. dragged in the first  
Mary Sue victim, her red eyes seemed to sparkle, and she smiled  
for the first time in the fanfic, and probably the last time,  
since we all know how often Rei smiling happens! When Asuka  
saw this she quickly pulled out a camera and took a picture.  
  
"Wow, wondergirl knows how to smile afterall!" She said with a  
cocky grin, "Maybe you aren't just a stupid doll."  
  
"I am NOT a doll." Rei III replied, the smile quickly fading  
from her face.  
  
"Okay wondergirl, don't blow a fuse."  
  
"Calm down you two, we're here to kill Mary Sue's, not each other."  
  
"Ikari is correct."  
  
"Yeah whatever wondergirl..."  
  
Asuka scowled and crossed her arms while the Mary Sue was being set  
up for torture. Asuka glanced to see who it was and grinned. The  
Mary Sue known as Morgan from the fanfiction Evangelion Densetsu was   
being chained up in the corner of the ring. Asuka walked over to  
the table and grabbed a katana and started to walk towards Morgan  
when she was intercepted by Shinji Ikari, who was weilding the latest  
and greatest in burning technology - The TommyRude Type Flamethrower.  
  
"No Asuka, she's mine. She took my place and did better than me!"  
Shinji looked furious.  
  
"Shinji, if that's the case, you're going to get to kill all of them.  
What about me Shinji?! What about Wondergirl?!" Asuka tried to stay  
calm, something she didn't exactly excel at.  
  
"Don't call me wondergirl." Rei frowned.  
  
Asuka scoffed at Rei, then returned her attention to Shinji, "Come on   
Shinji, you don't need to kill all of them, do you?"  
  
"I guess not, Asuka." Shinji sighed and looked down.  
  
"Jesus Christ baka, get some balls." Asuka shook her head in disgust.  
  
Shinji steps out of the way, "You can have this one. I'll take the  
next one."  
  
Asuka smirks, "Yeah, it figures Shinji wouldn't have enough balls to  
hurt a woman. Even if she is a stupid Mary Sue."  
  
"God dammit Asuka, shut up!" Shinji yelled, then opened his eyes and  
saw Asuka's death glare and promptly ran out over and hid behind Rei.  
  
"Oh well, I may aswell get this over with." Asuka shruged.  
  
She looked Morgan over. She seemed to think she was some kind of uber  
elite, unstopable military chick who knew Kung Fu. Well, now it was  
time for Asuka to have some fun. She grabbed a set off throwing knives  
and lined up Morgan's limbs. Within afew seconds, Asuka had thrown two  
knives into each arm and each leg, Morgan didn't seem too feel it however.  
'Dammit.' Asuka thought, 'Her Aura of Smooth is strong! Time for extreme  
measures...' Asuka grabbed the katana she had earlier and runs a thumb across  
the blade, accidently cutting it.  
  
"Shit! That hurt!" Asuka stuck the thumb in her mouth and sucked the blood  
while Shinji snickered from behind Rei.  
  
Asuka scowled and quickly spun the razor sharp blade in a semi circle, and  
nothing seemed to happen for afew seconds, all were silent. Then suddenly   
Morgan's left arm fell off and blood sprayed everywhere, and the crowd roared!   
Oh yes, she definetly felt it now. If she wasn't gagged, the arena would be   
filled with her screams of pain and agony. That being said, Asuka removed the   
gag from Morgan's mouth.  
  
"AAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Morgan screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
In the audience Kensuke watched with a grin, "Sweet! This is just like Ninja  
Scroll!"  
  
"Get over it Kensuke." Touji said with a smirk as he used the age old 'stretch out  
arm while yawning and put it around the girl' trick on Hikari, who didn't seem to  
mind.  
  
Misato had passed out in her chair, her head falling onto the lap of the man she  
was also seated next to; The dashing, the amazing, the water melon growing, Kaji  
Ryouji! Okay, so maybe that isn't all that suprising... eh. Deal with it. Who's  
the author here, me or you? Yeah... Anywho, back to the story. The Arena was  
filled with Morgan's cries for mercy until Asuka smacked her around the face with  
a baseball bat, shattering her jaw.  
  
"Sheisse! I knew it would be annoying, but I didn't think it would be THAT   
annoying!" Asuka said, tossing the baseball bat aside.  
  
"Whoa... Asuka's vicious." Mumbled Shinji, "I'm glad I didn't kiss her that time  
when she was asleep. I like my jaw as it is..."  
  
"Did you say something Ikari?" Rei raised an eyebrow at Shinji, who imeadiately  
shut his mouth and just shook his head.  
  
After throwing away the baseball bat, Asuka pressed a bunch of crosses against  
Morgan, laughing as they burned her unholy flesh. Shinji watched with horror  
as Morgan's skin began to melt off, revealing a horrid, ugly monster who would  
make any man want to throw up their intestines. Infact, it looked like something  
from the movie Aliens, only much, much worse.  
  
"Oh my god, it's horrible!"   
  
Asuka screamed and grabbed the TommyRude Type Flamethrower off Shinji and blasted   
Demon-Morgan until said flamethrower ran out of gas - keep in mind this is a TR   
Type Flamethrower - nothing remained of Morgan, even the little dusk particles   
hadn't survived the TommyRude wrath. Asuka smiled smugly, very satisfied with herself,   
and handed Shinji back the flamethrower. Shinji blinked as Asuka brushed off her yellow  
sundress, mumbled something about blood stains being impossible, and then walked out  
of the Arena, tossing the microphone to Shinji aswell.  
  
"... Well, that was - err... interesting." Shinji said into the microphone.  
  
As he did this he motioned to Maya and Co. to get the next victim. They did so, quickly  
running offstage and coming back with someone who Shinji grinned when he saw. Being  
dragged along by Maya was none other than DJ Croft, the NGE Antichrist himself, gagged   
and tied up with thick adamantium chains, which seemed to be straining under the pressure.   
Rei began to feel all lovey and quickly yelled out in horror, instead hiding behind Shinji and   
covering her eyes, sobbing quietly. He had attempted to use his Aura of Smooth, fittingly   
called a DJ Field, on poor, innocent, Rei. What he had done was worse than any mind rape. And now  
Shinji was going to avenge her, and every other woman who DJ had ever Aura of Smooth-ed.  
It was going to be a one on one match - with DJ chained in place and weaponless, and Shinji  
possessing every weapon known to man, and afew ones never heard of before.  
  
This was gonna get real messy, real fast. Above the arena, Gendo sat in his trade mark position.  
  
"Everything is going according to the scenario."  
  
At that very moment, half way across the world in the hidden Darkscribes bunker, Lord   
Deathscythe, The Dark Lork of the fics, was watching everything on his 68 inch TV. He too  
was sitting in the trademark Gendo position.  
  
"Everything is going according to the scenario."  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
Well, that went well, didn't it? If you read this, please be kind enough to review. Even if it  
is just to flame me to hell. Thank you.  
  
-- ShinRyuKen/ToujiSuzuhara 


	2. Intermission - "The Fate of Alex Sterlin...

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva. Nor do I own any of the said Mary  
Sue's in this fic. I wish I owned Eva, but I don't. Don't sue me.   
This fic isn't for the faint of heart, I have a penchant to get   
very violent when angry, and nothing angers me like a Mary Sue...   
Well, not much does anyway.  
  
Shinji Vs. The Uber Mary Sue - Small Intermission - "The Fate of Alex Sterling."  
  
  
Due to several reasons, the much hated and much wanted dead Alex  
Sterling will not be making any appearance in my fic. It's not  
because I don't hate him, no, it's far from it. I hate him alot.  
But Jeff Alan, someone I don't know to well, but trust because  
he really does know his stuff, insisted that putting him in my  
fic would be suicide, and could get me kicked from FFN if  
Beta or Deathzealot reported me.  
  
Many apologies to those of you who wanted him dead, but I'm not  
going to risk my account over something that silly. Well thankfully  
I've got a large lineup of SI's, and their crimes as you'll see below.  
  
(List writen and supplied to Eva.com forums by Ken Sohryu, I take no  
credit and would like to thank him personally. ^_^ If you would like  
me to remove this list, please say so and I will.)  
  
  
  
DJ Croft | Neon Exodus Evangelion | Suck Factor: 10  
Crimes: Aura of Smooth, Galaxy-sized ego, seduction of the entire female cast (both original *and* ACC), becomes the   
reincarnation of an ancient warrior, is the offspring of Fox Mulder (X-Files), and... ugh... Lara Croft, boffs Asuka,   
commands Unit-01, replaces Shinji until sometime in the 3rd book then tries to ship him back out "for his own good",   
he won't damn die.  
  
Lisa Foster | Fate of the Children | Suck Factor: 7  
Crimes: Turns Asuka into a lesbian, she sleeps with Asuka, developes DBZ-esque powers, she's part angel (of course...),   
bashes Rei, she warped reality so badly that Kaworu showed up as a girl named "Jo".  
  
Issei Mataloun | Hellstorm Evangelion | Suck Factor: 7 (higher if the fic wasn't so damn goofy)  
Crimes: He's an EVA pilot... at the age of 12, he turns Shinji into a homosexual, he sleeps with Shinji, he kills Asuka in   
the absolute silliest situation ever imagined by man, he kills Satan... in a "puddle of his own gore", he owns a "Rage   
Against the Machineshirt"...  
  
Tom Dyron | Evangelion II: Delta Invasion | Suck Factor: 8  
Crimes: Annoying as sin, he sleeps with Asuka, he has a psychic link with Shinji, he upstages Shinji in *every single angel   
fight in the damn fic*, he's the kickboxing champion of the world... at 14, he talks and acts like a second-rate Stone Cold   
Steve Austin, his catchphrase is "Hell Yeah!!".  
  
Connor Ikari | Unrequested Assistance | Suck Factor: 10  
Crimes: he commands Unit-04, he's Shinji's twin brother, he has godlike psychic powers, he turns Rei into his personal slave,   
he hates Asuka so much that he feels it necessary to assault her with a psychic attack ever other *sentence*, he reduced   
Commander Ikari into an ineffectual moron, he dominates *everyone* in the damn fic with his godlike powers, he has degrees   
in every subject you could name.  
  
Raiu | Evangelion: The Dark Side | Suck Factor: 9  
Crimes: he's a dragon... a freakin' dragon, he can reach a sync ratio of 1000% and higher... with *any* of the Eva units, he   
upgrades the Evas into silly mockeries of their former selves, he reduces Gendo into an ineffectual dolt, he turns Rei into   
his personal love slave, his Aura of Smooth causes *everyone* love him (except for Gendo).  
  
Anthony Draven | Too many fics to count | Suck Factor: 7  
Crimes: he appears in *a lot* of different fics which are totally unrelated to each other, he bones Asuka, he fights with a   
lightsaber and gives everyone else in the "gang" laser pistols that use lightsaber crystals (and I'm being serious here), he   
and Shinji are the best damn sword fighters in the known universe and often wind up saving the others Eva pilots from   
ridiculous situations, he *always* saves the damn day.  
  
Extra info: In every one of the fics this Draven ####### appears in, he has everyone setup in pairs - couples who also   
happen to be Eva pilots. Here's the general roster:  
  
Unit 00 - Rei (paired with Shinji)  
Unit 01 - Shinji  
Unit 02 - Asuka (paired with Draven)  
Unit 03 - Toji (paired with Hikari)  
Unit 04 - Draven (what is it with Unit 04 and ACCs?)  
Unit 05 - Kensuke (paired with ACC)  
Unit 06 - Hikari  
Unit 07 - An ACC whos name I can't be bothered with to remember.  
There were variations from story to story, but it would always be similar to this list. The authors is so annoying, by the   
way, that's he's even been blacklisted by the Fanfic Yakuza.  
  
Sean | EvaLeSs | Suck Factor: 5  
Crimes: he's supposed to marry Asuka, he's a rich, pretentious little snot, his entire purpose for existing doesn't even   
make sense! He's just there to provide a quick subplot that didn't add or detract from the main plot (if you could call it  
a "plot" at all). He was just... there. Very pointless.  
  
Morgan | Evangelion Densetsu | Suck Factor: 8  
Crimes: a professional soldier, a UN security member, knows the truth behind second impact, the angels, NERV, and SEELE...   
and she's only 14, she replaces Shinji altogether.  
  
  
----------------  
  
Woohoo! Plenty of Mary Sue's to kill! Still... I wanted a piece of Alex...  
Oh well.  
  
I'd also like to announce that my next fic is currently in the making,  
along with the next chapter of this. My next fic is titled: NGE Antichrist,  
and it's a little fic about what could happen if the Angels got a second  
chance to get things right, and they had a little help...  
  
  
Well, that's all from me, The Eva Gang will be back with some more Mary  
Sue slaying goodness... after this I might make a sequel, Asuka - The   
Mary Sue Slayer. What do you think? ^_^  
  
Anyways, if you read this, please leave a review. I find it rude and annoying  
when people read a fic and don't review. Also, I'm not like The  
Shadowy Eva, I can take flames, so as I said last time, if you feel the need  
to flame, go right ahead! If you're gonna dish something out you gotta be able  
to take it too.  
  
'At's all for now.  
  
-- ShinRyuKen 'The Human Torch' 


	3. Part 2, Let the blood bath continue!

Disclaimer: I don't own Eva. Nor do I own any of the said Mary  
Sue's in this fic, except for the few I made up, due to the  
lack of actual ones for me to kill. :) I wish I owned Eva, but I  
don't. Don't sue me. This fic isn't for the faint of heart, I  
have a penchant to get very violent when angry, and nothing angers  
me like a Mary Sue... well, not much does anyway.  
  
Shinji Vs. The Uber Mary Sue - The Continuation.  
  
Writen by ShinRyuKen  
  
  
As DJ was being chained up in one of corners by Maya and co. Rei was still cowering behind him,  
looking around at DJ every so often and quickly ducking back behind Shinji. Shinji was just a  
slight bit uncomfortable with the whole situation, but then he remembered that her was going to  
kill DJ Croft, once again, he was happy. Out of nowhere, part of the ceiling openned up and Gendo  
Ikari threw down a prone boy, who landed safely on the ground thanks to his Aura of Smooth.  
  
"Shinji, you must kill the others first. DJ comes last." Gendo said, then walked off.  
  
"WHY FATHER?! Why do you do this to me?!"   
  
Shinji began to cry, then looked over at the boy who had just landed. The boy was about Shinji's  
age, (naturally) and was weilding a lightsaber. He smirked at Shinji and threws him a lightsaber  
aswell. Shinji raised and eyebrow, looked down at the lightsaber, looked at the boy, then looked  
up to the ceiling.  
  
"Thank you father." Shinji said with a smile.  
  
"I am Anthony Draven, Jedi Knight, Pilot of unit 04 and he who bangs Asuka!" The boy announced.  
  
Asuka heard this as she was walking back in and growled, "You dummkopf! I'm gonna kick your ass  
you baka hentai!"  
  
Asuka ran towards Draven at tops speed until he turned to face her and wiggled his eyebrows in an  
odd way and used his Aura of Smooth to seduce her into a state of utter adoration. Asuka was   
quickly grabbed by some NERV personel who attempted to try and bring her back to the land of the  
living. The land in which the only person who she would ever let touch her is Shinji. Or Kaji.  
In the crowd, Hikari was worried about her friend.  
  
"Oh my god, what has he done to her?" Hikari screamed.  
  
"I dunno, but I have this strange urge to start making out with you." Touji replied smoothly.  
  
"You always have that strange urge, you hentai." Hikari mumbled and turned away.  
  
Back at ground zero...  
  
"Come on gang... you don't wanna hurt me..." Draven looked around, "Guys?"  
  
Shinji ran at Draven and swang at his neck, Anthony quickly parried Shinji's blow with one of his   
own and stabbed viciously at the young pilot. Shinji jumped up and kicked Draven in the head, knocking  
him over over onto the ground. Shinji quickly scrambled along the floor and bashed a button, then  
looked back over at Draven. Draven had quickly regained his footing and ran at Shinji, throwing a  
killing blow right at his head. Shinji blocked it and strained against the Uber Pilot's uncanny  
strength, he was slowly losing the battle when suddenly a pit of steaming hot acid openned up behind  
Draven and Rei quickly grabbed a gun, unloading the clip into Uber boys chest, spraying blood everywhere   
and sending him plummeting into the hot acid. A Mary Sue's Aura of Smooth is designed to protect the   
super-kid, but in this instance it just proved to make it more effective, causing the acid to slowly   
eat away at Draven as his flesh melted and his face gradually disfigured.  
  
Shinji looked at Rei in shock, "Wow, how did you manage to get the gun without falling for DJ?"  
  
Rei pointed to where DJ had been placed, there was now a 3 foot thick Adamantium wall blocking anything  
from coming in or out.  
  
"Ahhh... good." Shinji said then smiled to Asuka as she stumbled uneasily back into the ring to watch  
Draven die a horribly horrible death.  
  
Draven looked up at her as half of his melted face slid slowly down and tried to Aura of Smooth her again,  
all that he got this time was a 45. round to the head as Asuka unloaded the clip from the hand gun into  
what remained of his head, sending flesh, blood, and other unpleasant and gross chunky bits spraying all  
over the place. She calmed down when Shinji slowly and carefully removed the weapon from her hand and   
Anthony's mutilated corpse sank to the bottom of the acid pit.  
  
"Okay... I'm calm, I'm good, I'm just peachy..." Asuka said outloud, rubbing her temples.  
  
"It's okay Asuka, let it all out." Shini said, patting her on the back.  
  
"Okay Shinji, since you insisted..." Asuka replied, taking a deep breath, "Mymotherwasapsychopathicfreakwho  
hungherselfandtoreapartthedollthatrepresentedmeandipilotedevarealgooduntilyoucamealongandscrewedeverythingup  
andtheniwasonlybetterthanwondergirlbutthenthatFUCKINGangelcamealongandscrewedwithmyheadandnowimaloonyandjust  
thenthatlittlewannabefreakscrewedwithmyheadandalmostgotmetodosomethingreallysick! THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY IKARI?!"  
  
Shinji took a step away from Asuka, who was now grabbing the next victim out of Maya's hands and throwing her  
against the ropes. The Mary Sue is Lisa Foster, Rei basher extraordinare and the one held accountable for  
turning Asuka into a raging lesbian.  
  
"I'M NOT A LESBIAN!"  
  
With those immortal words, Asuka began to have a fist fight with Lisa, punching her in the face. But Lisa was  
quick to react and punched Asuka back, sending her flying back into the ropes and causing her to fall to the  
ground. Asuka fell to the ground and slumped over.  
  
"Too much... the Mary Sue is too evil..." Asuka muttered.  
  
Lisa walked over, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you. Then we can go to my place."  
  
Asuka was suddenly hit by the Aura of Smooth, "Really? Okay then..."  
  
Lisa suddenly fell to the ground when Rei and Shinji both started brutally bashing her to death with large  
baseball bats, which had barbed wire wrapped around them and nails driven through them. Lisa let out numerous  
cries and yells of pain as Shinji watched Rei in action. Rei was attacking Lisa with a viciousness only seen  
before by a berzerk Eva 01. Lisa cries in pain as Rei shattered her left jaw, chunks of meaty goodness spraying  
everywhere. Then Rei impalled it right through Lisa's chest, making a large hole and sending bits of her internal  
organs all over the place, and staining the floor - and her school uniform - with unbelievable ammounts of crimson  
blood. Rei smiled smuggly and stood to her feet, clapping her hands together when suddenly Lisa got to her feet  
and moaned like some undead zombie. Rei was somewhat ticked off  
  
"Die you stupid hoe!" Rei yelled.  
  
Rei scowled and grabbed the katana Asuka had used earlier then quickly swiped at Lisa with the lethal steel blade,   
slicing the gruesome remains of Lisa's head in half and sending it flying out of the ring. Rei swiped again,   
amputating Lisa's midsection and causing her torso to fall to the ground with a juicy thunk. The floor was now  
a deep shade of red, as were Rei's clothes, and her skin, and her hair, and just about everything else. She threw  
the katana to Shinji, who caught it out, as surprised and confused as he was, then she stormed off to the showers.  
  
"No one screws with Rei III and lives to regret it!" She yelled.  
  
"Where the heck did that come from?" Shinji said aloud, then looked to the crowd, "Er, we'll be having a short  
intermission, come back in 10 minutes."  
  
Shinji walked ofstage aswell, and slowly NERV personel began to walk onstage and start cleaning away the hacked  
up, and deformed corpses of what once were Mary Sue's. In the crowd, Misato looked over at Kaji, having woken  
up moments earlier, and laughed. Kaji was in a state of shock, completely confused at how the three disfunctional  
children had suddenly become vicious killers, intent on completely obliterating the Mary Sue's. Had they shown  
this much enthusiasm when fighting the Angels, they would have killed them no sweat.  
  
"Wha-wha-wha." Kaji said, pointing to the ring.  
  
Misato raised an eyebrow, "What on earth are you doing Kaji?"  
  
"I think he's a little confused about the pilots attitude towards the mass genocide of these Mary Sue creatures."  
Ritsuko replied.  
  
"Oh... hey Ritsu, why did you get all your hair shaved off." Misato asked.  
  
"Oh, that? Because Commander Ikari always grabbed onto it and it was starting to get annoying." She responded without  
thinkinh.  
  
"... What?" Misato was confused now.  
  
"Ooops, nevermind." Dr. Akagi quickly shut up.  
  
Afew rows up, Touji was still trying to pull a Mr. Smooth on Hikari, and getting nowhere, and Kensuke was browsing  
through his polaroids of Asuka, Rei and Shinji heartlessly slaughtering the Mary Sue menace. Touji looked over to  
Kensuke, having been shot down again, and looked through the polaroids too. He smirked and laughed quietly as he  
saw the picture of Rei slicing Lisa's 'head' off.  
  
"Wow, they've been having fun down there, haven't they?" Touji laughed louder as he browsed through the pictures.  
  
Hikari, meanwhile, had been trying to avoid watching this scene of slaughter, not particularly enthused by the  
idea of mass murder, no matter how worthy the cause. Back within Darkscribes, a shadowy figure sneaked through  
the hallways, into the office of a sleeping Lord Deathscythe, and began browsing through some files, mumbling  
the whole time about world domination and Asuka's cleavage. Suddenly a hand grabbed his wrist and the man looked  
up to see The Dark Lord of the Fics staring down at him.  
  
"Hmmm... I think Gendo might want this one." LD said, dragging the boy away.  
  
Back at NERV...  
  
Shinji, Asuka and Rei all reassemble on stage, wearing new, clean clothes and armed to the teeth with even more  
weapons than before. Kensuke quickly took snapshots of the arsenal from down at ground zero then creeped back up   
to his seat, as stealthy as an Elephant. Touji gave him an odd look and Kensuke tried to give a dashing grin, which  
ended up looking more like some twisted, sadistic smirk. Touji shuddered and looked back at the stage, where they  
were preparing for the next victim...  
  
------------------------  
  
Isn't insomnia induced writing a beautiful thing?  
Anyway, same rules apply as before, if you read it, review it, even if it's to flame me.  
Thank you, and good night.  
  
-- ShinRyuKen 'The Human Torch'/ToujiSuzuhara 


	4. Intermission - "The mindless rant of a s...

  
Authors notes and an Update on things to come.  
  
  
THANKS:  
  
EVA-01 Beta has given me some partial credit in him Slaying his Own Mary Sue. Wow, I feel special.  
  
Darkscribes rules, I'd like to thank the people from Darkscribes, as they are some of the best Authors I know of. If you haven't been there, follow this link.  
  
Fanfic Yakuza. What can I say? They hate these guys more than I do. They inspired my hatred. They are heroes. Anyone who disagrees with me, feel free to keep your mouth shut. :D  
  
Lord Deathscythe, Dark Lord of the Fics, and one cool yet twisted guy. He's helped me considerably in the development of this fic. Thanks LD!  
  
TommyRude. Not only does this guy know his fanfiction, but he's DAMN GOOD with AMV's. His work has inspired me a ton...  
  
GodOfTheWired, author of The Word and another fellow Mary Sue hater. This guy knows he's stuff, and he's funny as hell.  
  
Kimberly. I'd like to thank her for not updating her fic. Yes, I know, I'm bitter. Please, move on.  
  
Neon Genespace Theatre 2016, the MST group I'm in. These guys are all cool and unique in their own ways, right now we're MSTing The Zeroth Child's Saga. With prior permission of Mr. Eva-01 Beta, though I doubt he would have given permission had he known I was a member.  
  
Shellback, dude, your Mary Sue killing fic was as funny as hell. Write more!  
  
Bad Ronald, for being a fellow slayer of all that is Mary Sue in the world.  
  
Everyone on the Evangelion.com forums for supporting me and helping me out. You guys are awesome.  
  
  
UPDATES:  
  
Next chapter should be done about 1 or 2 days from now.  
  
Mike from Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Giant will no longer be staring in this fic, due to the fact the fic was removed from FFN.  
  
The first chapter of NGE: Antichrist is well underway, and would have been finished a while ago except that every time I open notepad to write I start staring off blankly into space.  
  
After this fic there will be an official sequel, **Asuka: The Mary Sue Slayer** which will have more of a plot, and will feature Gendo with a corny british accent.  
  
SI Kim will not be appearing in this fic, I don't wanna be torn apart by Borg Drones. Sorry guys.  
  
If I update this fic too slow, it's because I'm a lazy fuck. Send me money and I'll work much faster. :P Just kidding guys.  
  
Note to flamers: Please use valid points. Please don't hide behind Anonimity. Please learn to act like adults. (This is coming from the guy who writes fics about killing Mary Sue's...)  
  
  
  
NOTES:  
  
Proof read anything written at 2 am atleast 50 times... after the other 50 times.  
  
Go read the reviews of So Happy Together and laugh at their simple-mindedness.  
  
Visit Darkscribes at http://www.darkscribes.org  
  
From there, check out the Fanfic Yakuza page.  
  
Flame (or atleast give a bad review) to atleast one Shitfic. "Help keep Eva fandom safe. Flame a shitfic near you!"  
  
Don't read The Zeroth Child's Saga if you haven't already, it's not worth your time.  
  
If you hate me, tell me. But have the guts to atleast give me an email address.  
  
Character bashing will get you killed. Learn this well.  
  
  
Oookay, my rant is done. See you next time.  



End file.
